The year began with feelings of optimism as I concluded a time of isolation due to a positive COVID 19 test over the winter break. I looked forward to returning to work and supporting my students throughout the spring semester. After a minor setback and a few more days of rest, I was finally able to put COVID 19 behind me. Little did I know a conversation with my new primary care physician - I had not had a primary care physician for almost twenty years - would turn my life upside down.
On January 10, I was asked to come in for blood tests. That would be the first day of many that I would be poked. The following weeks seem like a blur as there were many appointments of various kinds. I was referred to a colorectal specialist and after my initial appointment a colonoscopy was scheduled. I was not surprised on January 19 to be informed that my doctor had concerns with his discovery during the colonoscopy. Due to the symptoms that led me to have the initial conversation with my primary care physician, I expected a degree of negative news. I anticipated anxious days while awaiting test results. Those days; however, would not come as my doctor informed me post-colonoscopy that I had colon cancer. Was I surprised that I had colon cancer? No. Was I surprised that I was told that day? Absolutely! He knew the 4.3 cm tumor that was blocking 75% of my colon was cancer - pathology would confirm what he already knew. Instead of days waiting for test results, more appointments and tests were scheduled in advance of surgery necessary to remove the tumor.
Following my cancer diagnosis, I made the decision to be very public about my circumstances. One, I selfishly wanted as many people praying for me as possible. Two, I wanted my story to be an encouragement to others - perhaps someone else would find the courage to seek help and speak to a doctor. In making the decision to be public about my circumstances, I also knew I would be pushed out of my comfort zone, forced to swallow my pride, and would need to allow others to help me. I was abundantly blessed in the coming days. I was blessed by coworkers who had walked a similar walk before me and were able to provide wise counsel and direction. I was blessed by the listening ear and wisdom of my school nurse. I was blessed by the financial generosity of coworkers, fellow church members, and even parents of student athletes I had supported. I was blessed with cards from all over, especially blessed by cards from the student ministry at my church, from Reedy volleyball, and from Reedy boys basketball; I received messages from former student ministry students and former Pearson students now in college. I was blessed by coworkers who prayed with me, who listened to me, and who always checked on me to make sure I was doing okay. I was blessed by my campus administration who always encouraged me to do whatever I needed to take care of myself - as I write this, I think I have finally learned that lesson. One of the lowest points of my life would turn into a source of abundant blessings!
As February began, I did my best to get things in order to be prepared leading up to my surgery, during my hospital stay, and throughout my time of recovery. I sought your help by asking for your favorite songs of praise and worship. I knew the importance of maintaining a positive attitude and I knew the role what I listened to would play. I was able to make it to church the Sunday before my surgery. This allowed for a personal time of support and encouragement from my church family; hands were laid on me as I was anointed and prayed over. I attended my last game in person - Pearson girls soccer - before having to settle for watching available games online; supporting students in person is much better than doing so online, but I am thankful for technology and the opportunities it allows me to support students when necessary.
The day before surgery I had to do a full system clean out again - think colonoscopy prep; I am not a fan of not eating for over 24 hours. I went to bed the night before surgery with my alarm set for 4:30 AM. I did not sleep much that night. I awoke early the morning of February 10, got ready, and went to the hospital. I was able to set aside my dislike for all things medical, and I was at peace because I knew everything being done was truly necessary to ensure a long, healthy life. By the time this day had arrived, I had already had numerous appointments and tests, so I was becoming more comfortable.
My surgery was successful and just over 6 inches of my sigmoid colon was removed. The body is amazing as my doctor simply reconnected my colon. I was left with 5 scars to commemorate my surgery. I spent 3 nights in the Sarah Cannon Cancer Hospital at Medical City Plano and received excellent care. With a nurse by my side holding on to me to prevent a fall, my first steps were not many, but each step was progress. I experience the odd sensation of significant shoulder pain following abdominal surgery. Had I not been made aware of this possibility beforehand, I would have been quite concerned. On one walk, I mooned a nurse as the back of my gown was open. The day after surgery, we struggled to manage my pain. Even after being given "this will work" medication, I was still in pain - it did not work. I was given 6 pain medications that day before receiving relief. My first trip to the bathroom was messy and showering to clean myself up was difficult. I was unable to dress myself and was only able to do so with the assistance of a technician who helped me figure out the hospital gown and put on my socks for me. Sunday, February 13, I would go home.
Though my hospital stay was brief, it is remarkable the number of people that care for one patient. During my stay, there was 1 doctor, 1 anesthesiologist, 10 nurses, 4 patient care technicians, 3 respiratory therapists, 2 occupational therapists, 1 resident, 1 patient transporter, 1 social worker, 1 dietician, 1 housekeeper, and 8 nutritional staff that I am aware of that directly cared for me in some capacity.
As I began my recovery at home, the first week or so was somewhat of a blur as I slept often and was heavily medicated to manage my pain. Each day more progress was made and the outpouring of support I received was a huge encouragement. One of the biggest blessings I received was meals, so I did not have to worry about food. I was provided so much yummy food. Thankfully I was not on any dietary restrictions, so I could eat whatever I wanted - though I typically had to do so in small portions. I transitioned off of prescription medications and began working towards the physical recovery necessary so that I would be able to return to work as soon as possible. Following my surgery, I was on a restriction of lifting no more than 20 pounds. I began working to regain my strength lifting 5 pound dumbbells.
I had my initial oncologist's appointment in early March. I was given the wonderful news that further treatment beyond my surgery would not be necessary. I had Stage 1 colon cancer and pathology indicated that the cancer had not spread beyond the tumor site. I was informed that there is a 3-4% chance of recurrence and neither chemotherapy nor radiation would affect that percentage. I was also cleared to return to work March 14, the Monday after spring break.
After a 34 day spring break, I returned to work; I worked more than 3 consecutive days for the first time in 2022. Late during my absence, I received a sweet social media message request from an 8th grade student. The student had begun to wonder about my absence and had Googled me to see if they could figure out what was going on; they were able to. Upon returning to work, I made sure I found this student to assure them that I had received the message, that I was doing okay, and that I would reply to their message in 4 years when they graduate. Another student that knows me well asked one afternoon if I was doing okay as I appeared to be in a bit of discomfort. I was definitely slower and weaker as the day went on. I would have to ask for help opening bottles as I was quite weak and the twisting motion was quite uncomfortable to my core. Being able to return to doing what I love most, supporting students in the classroom and through their extracurricular activities was such a blessing - I made it back for frog dissection day! I would not have been able to return to work when I did without my wonderful coworkers who were flexible and willing to make changes to accommodate my needs. They stepped in to difficult situations so that I could work while continuing to recover.
At my oncologist's recommendation, I underwent genetic counseling and testing. The results on 47 genes tested indicated that I have no predispositions for cancer. I also had a physical for the first time since required for participation in middle school athletics. My primary care physician and I set out to address other neglected health concerns. My physical indicated that I have a low functioning thyroid. I was scheduled to have an MRI of my brain due to cognitive issues I had been facing; results were good. An appointment was also scheduled to remove two skin spots to be biopsied; results were good. As more appointments and testing occurred, I slowly began to regain my endurance and physical strength. I survived a color run at school with my scars heavily bandaged to ensure no chance of any color particles causing an infection.
In May, I had my first CT scan post-surgery. The CT scan results showed my colon to be in good shape; however, there were a couple of spots in other areas that needed to be monitored. I would have another CT scan in three more months. A tough school year came to an end allowing me to turn even more attention to taking care of myself.
As summer began, I had to make the decision to put on hold my typical summer activities and travel. The seated position of driving remained quite uncomfortable and my digestive system was still quite unpredictable as it continued to adjust post-surgery. The doctors told me it could be quite sometime after my surgery until my digestive system stabilized. One recommendation of my primary care physician was to have my eyes checked. I was able to do so in June, and at the age of 41 I got glasses for the first time due to having astigmatism. With more free time, I was able to spend more time in the gym and I set a personal best of 750 pounds on the leg press. I have never been interested in being strong. My focus has always been on being fit and healthy. The discipline needed to do so has not always been a strong point of mine. I took a small trip a few hours from home to surprise one of my friends at baseball practice. It was the farthest I had driven since my surgery and gave me an opportunity to see how my body would respond. I had a great time "playing" some baseball for the first time in many years. My body held up better than I had hoped.
In July, I had another appointment with my primary care physician to follow up on our findings from April and subsequent testing. I was referred to a neurologist to further explore my cognitive issues. In the week leading up to my neurologist's appointment, I was given the opportunity to make a transition at work. Given the opportunity, I made the decision to transition out of the centralized special education program I had been a part of the previous six and a half years. I would continue providing inclusion support in general education classrooms. It was the best decision for my overall health. The neurologist was thankful for my prior MRI as it allowed him to rule out several possibilities. Some testing was done and a plan of action was put in to place with other possible plans of action discussed should they become necessary. The neurologist's conclusion at the time was there was nothing structurally abnormal about my brain and there were no signs of degeneration. He suggested significant stress accompanied by moments of personal trauma over the last several years had essentially scrambled my brain's ability to functionally process as it should. The neurologist made a statement and asked a question that stood out. He stated that based on his findings and our conversation, he believed my job transition would likely provide more benefit than anything he would be able to do. He asked, based on his observation during my appointment, if I have ADHD.
I was also referred to a physical therapist to address recurring numbness in my legs. I was told I am not super scary but I am complex. For a moment I was quite concerned when as a result of our conversation and based on the therapist's observations, his questioning changed; he transitioned into a line of questioning to rule out indicators of cancer. After a few appointments and some quite uncomfortable physical manipulation, I was discharged to take care of myself. The primary observation was a need to correct my posture and how I move. I have a dozen different exercises and stretches to do which I can limit the need for by maintaining correct posture and movement form.
In August, I began my 12th year in Frisco ISD; I transitioned into my new, hopefully less stressful, position. The day before the first day of school I was able to resume supporting students through extracurricular activities as Reedy volleyball began what would become a historic season. The first day of school marked 6 months since my surgery. I was excited to welcome returning 7th and 8th graders and a brand new group of 6th graders. At the end of the month, I had my 2nd post-surgery CT scan.
I have never been a big birthday person, but this year was a little bit different. I began September celebrating my 42nd birthday, truly happy to be alive. The first weekend in September I made only my second trip of the year more than an hour away from home. I decided to drive a few hours to Oklahoma Baptist University to watch a former Pearson and Reedy student, now a freshman in college, play in a volleyball tournament. It was a neat experience getting to support a wonderful young lady.
I had my next oncologist's appointment to go over the results of my latest CT scan. There were no signs of cancer and the other spots of concern were improving - cancer doesn't just get better on its own. I will next see my oncologist for blood tests in March and will have my next CT scan in late August.
In October, with my physical health under control and being managed, my primary care physician and I shifted our focus to my mental health. Medication was started, referrals were made, and I began a cognitive behavioral therapy program. I received a totally unexpected surprise prior to Reedy volleyball's last home game of the season as all of the players came over to thank me and presented me with a signed team picture and signed volleyball.
November was a busy month. Reedy volleyball began a historic playoff run becoming the first Frisco ISD team to make it to the state tournament. This was the first season I was able to make it to every game that did not require me to miss work - I definitely took off and missed work to go support them in the state semifinal game. Supporting that team throughout their season this year brought me great joy. We knocked out another color run at school as the 6th graders transformed me into a well decorated Easter egg.
I had an appointment with my colorectal specialist in anticipation of scheduling my one year follow up colonoscopy sometime in January or February. I was caught off guard when I was given the option to have it done in just a few days. So, I had my follow up colonoscopy. Overall, everything appeared to be in good shape; however, I did have 4 polyps removed ranging in size from 2 cm to 16 cm. Pathology results indicated that all polyps were benign, but 2 were precancerous. I will have another colonoscopy in a year. I was incredibly blessed when I received an encouraging e-mail from a current freshman student who was aware of my circumstances. My digestive system is still moody at times, but it continues to improve and the bad days are now rare. I met with a counselor and underwent testing for ADHD. I passed! Or did I fail? I was diagnosed ADHD - Inattentive. The session prior to the actual testing was quite interesting and enlightening. December began with more appointments. I had an initial appointment with a psychiatrist to follow up on my ADHD diagnosis. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. In October, when my primary care physician and I shifted our focus to my mental health, I began taking medication to address these concerns while awaiting the outcome to be discovered from referrals made at the time. My psychiatrist was in full agreement with the course of action taken by primary care physician. In addition to the medications I was already taking, my psychiatrist added medication for ADHD. I am seeing positive results from the medications I am taking in addition to changes in my thought processes as a result of the cognitive behavioral therapy program I completed. I am still a work in progress.
I also had another follow up with my primary care physician. We have addressed all of my concerns both physical and mental. I will next see my primary care physician in April for my annual physical. Throughout 2022, there have been around 75 healthcare professionals of some sort participate in my care. I acquired a:
Primary Care Physician
Colorectal Specialist
Oncologist
Genetic Counselor
Optometrist
Neurologist
Physical Therapist
Psychiatrist
Nothing that has been addressed this year is new. I did not wake up one day and all of a sudden have 6 new conditions that needed addressed. Each has been present or in the developing stages for a number of years. Research and available data would suggest I may have been living with cancer for almost a decade or even longer.
Some key points I take away from this year:
I have to take care of myself
There are times when I need to allow others to help me
I must be honest with myself
I must be kind to myself
I must be patient with myself
My story can be an encouragement to others
Throughout the year, my faith has been strained, but it is my faith that has sustained me. My desire following my cancer diagnosis was to reflect Christ as I saw my mother do so while she walked her cancer journey until death. I have been absent from church this year probably more than the rest of my years combined. This is not something I am happy about, but it is something I am working through as I process all that I am going through and learning about myself. I do believe that after nearly 30 years, God is likely calling me to a new church home. I am excited about discovering where that will be when I am able to do so. For now, Parkside remains my church home and I looked forward to opportunities to worship and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
A year ago, I would have never anticipated how this year would have turned out. At my last appointment with my primary care physician, she told me that I should be proud of myself for all that I have endured and overcome this year. I have been so incredibly blessed by the care and guidance of my primary care physician - she saved my life.
I am not asking anyone to understand me or my circumstances. In fact, I would actually ask the opposite. Do not try to understand. Rather I ask that you be patient and compassionate. Demonstrate grace and lift me up in prayer.
Thank you to everyone that has been by my side this year! I could not have made it without you. A special thanks to my family and my big brother Kris!
You know yourself better than anyone else. If something is wrong, I pray you find the courage to speak up and ask for help! I know it's not easy, but you are worth it. You are loved!
Comentarios